27 Ways To Raise A Successful And Happy Child
You often think of your children as extensions of yourself.
This is true whether or not they are biological or adopted. People often say” blood is thicker than water” but it is not always so as you could see in the true love of a Step-Dad for his adoptive daughter.
When it comes to parenting, you want the best for your children. It’s why no career is often worth sacrificing all of your familial time for unless that will be a temporary step to reaching the next level.
But when you have your affairs in order, how can you pass down what you’ve learned to your child? It is every parent’s dream to raise a happy and successful child. Setting up a child for a successful life is a conscious act – no one becomes successful by accident.
The road to a successful life is paved by actions that give a happy and healthy childhood.
You might wish that you had a headstart in life when trying to realize your dreams, but how can you give this to your child or children without crippling them?
Jackie Chan, the legendary actor and martial artist, famously suggested that he would be giving exactly zero dollars of his hard-earned fortune to his children as an inheritance.
He believes that raising them with the proverbial silver spoon will only reduce them in the long run – A bold strategy. If you ever questioned how to raise a successful and yet happy child? Look no further, here are ways you can raise a successful and happy child.
Even if you choose not to follow that yourself, the intention is true. So, how can you set up habits in your children, without being a tyrant, to help them gain confidence and lead them to a lifetime of success?
Let us consider the following insights to this end.
1. Become happy and successful
You are the first contact your child has in this world and you have a great influence on him (permit me to just use the masculine term to qualify both sexes).
As Olukayode Alfred, a travel mogul rightly said: “you are most influenced by your first contact in a new country”.
You, as a parent, are the very first contact a child has on the earth and at home. A happy parent makes a happy kid; the same thing goes for successful kids. There’s a high chance that a successful child might be influenced by a successful parent.
The first step to raising a successful and happy child is being a happy and successful person yourself.
2. Maximize Family time
To raise a successful child, you must create time for family exclusively. Your family must have time to share their thoughts. This will strengthen the family bond.
Have a time when your family members, including the children, will feel at home. It is easier to pitch ideas to people you are used to. When you are around people that you are comfortable with – your family, you could solve problems, colour workbooks and puzzles together. This is a ground for breeding a successful and happy child.
3. Have a family mission statement
If you don’t have a family mission statement, you are missing a point. Even after many years of visiting a very prosperous uncle, I still remember their family mission statement and rules boldly written in the children’s sitting room.
I was surprised by how well his children mastered and lived by it. A mission statement gives the family a sense of direction and focus.
4. Have regular family meals
There is an aura that surrounds meal times. It’s an aura of happiness. Ensure your family has time to dine together. Ensure you schedule regular meal time with your family.
It doesn’t need to be an everyday thing. It might just be three breakfasts and four dinners in a week. Food cooked in the house is superb as this will allow you to spend more time with your child. You could also eat out together.
5. Celebrate little wins together
A happy home gives rise to a happy child. Families that celebrate the success of their members tend to be more successful and happy. Children from such homes tend to be more successful when compared to homes where wins are not given attention.
Things you could celebrate include promotion, a good grade, feats, and other great achievements. You should celebrate with your family often even if it is the smallest celebration you can afford at the moment.
6. Resolve conflicts prudently
You must have noticed that the state of your home affects your child. Children from a home where there are unresolved conflicts rarely perform well academically. They mostly have issues relating to their peers and people in general.
This usually results in involvement with bad gangs, alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, and other emotional problems. If you have any conflict in your home, resolve it as soon as you can. Your child’s happiness and success rely greatly on it.
7. Give full attention to your child
An average four-year-old will ask more than two hundred questions per day. Wouldn’t it be so nice if the responses he or she gets in return were verbally and non-verbally impactful? Communication is a two-way thing, the flow of information between the parties involved.
When your child is speaking to you, give your undivided attention to him. It means you should make good eye contact and genuinely listen to him. It may require you to put aside what you are currently doing sometimes. This will make him more communicative and would ensure you respond to him thoughtfully.
11. Teach emotion management
I think you should already know that whenever I say teach, I mean – show it to the kids by your acts, not by words alone. When your child is emotionally stable, he will be able to focus better.
He will not be easily swept off his feet or cajoled into making rash decisions. Apart from this, he will also enjoy better physical and emotional health. Ensure you let your child know that all feelings are acceptable but not all behaviours. Empathize with your child, show them self-management and acknowledge your child’s progress.
12. Restrict your kids reasonably
Successful kids are raised in law-abiding homes. We naturally attribute touts and thugs to homes (if we could call them homes) without rules or laws binding them. The first part of this is: Children should be free, but not too free.
Children treated with laissez-faire attitudes tend to go rogue and they often think their parents don’t care about them. This is bad for the child. The second part is that they should be restricted but not too restricted in a choky way.
It is unhealthy for the child to be in confinement or over-controlled. They tend to be too timid or go out of hand the first opportunity they get. So to raise a successful and happy child, set reasonable rules and explain to them the principle behind those rules. You will be surprised how well he will follow the rule once he knows the reason for that rule.
13. Ensure your child has resting times
Obesity, lower brain function and less creativity are a few of the effects of getting insufficient sleep. There are different forms of resting, depending on the activities being performed.
Give your child time to rest and recover his strength. Ensure your child has enough time to get a sound sleep at night. Make the night rest consistent and ensure it is observed. Limit screen time and late-night activities that could disrupt their sleeping routine.
You can even create a nap time for the afternoon during their holidays. A rested mind is usually more productive and this will lead to success and happiness in the child.
14. Create playtime for your child
One of the mistakes parents make is not allowing their children to play. Common, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. To make your child a happy and successful one, you must allow him to play freely.
Encourage him to have outdoor games too, not just digital or indoor games. As much as you allow him to play scrabble and other board games, ensure he also goes out for soccer or track events. This will guarantee his mental and physical growth.
15. Limit television time
Studies (for instance in Raising Happiness) have shown that there is an inverse relationship between time spent in front of the TV and happiness. There are a few exceptions though, as in the case of media personnel.
Teenagers and kids are more likely to be depressive as their TV time increases. Be a good example and limit your TV time too. Choose to spend that time on other things like reading or family talk.
16. Encourage reading
All successful people have peculiar reading habits. Teach your child to read by doing so yourself. You might add a little bit of reward to each book your child successfully read. Have a variety of books your child can read which could range from his class textbook to novels, history, business, and career.
Good books are like a fertilizer for the mind that encourages the growth of ideas and boosts creativity. Nourish your child’s mind with the right books and see him grow to become a successful and happy person.
17. Emphasis on means, not the end only
Do not make the mistake of overemphasizing the result and forgetting the process. Ensure you teach your child that the result is as important as the process. This way, you teach your child to always follow due process to achieve the desired result.
Children brought up this way eventually attain greater success. So be on the lookout to acknowledge your child’s effort even when the desired result is not achieved.
18. Teach your children to form important relationships
No one can truly survive on their own. We need to form a relationship. “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are,” this tells you that the type of relationship you form will determine your future.
So teach your child to form meaningful relationships with others. Such should be to make him better and move him towards achieving success. You must create an environment for your child to build a friendship. A place to test out his human relationship.
19. Teach your child to be altruistic
Successful people have a sense of self-worth -that their lives are meaningful to others. One of the ways to do this is to show your child altruism. Inspire your child to be generous. One of the things they could be generous with is their time. Generous children are happier especially when they give out of their own willingly.
20. Teach your child to serve others
Selfless service commands favour and help. Allow your child to volunteer when the means are available either in the family, school or community. Don’t forget to carry your child along to help you when you are also volunteering.
Give room for him to help you, this will not only build his skill, but it will also boost his self-confidence. So encourage your child to help and serve others either as an individual or as a team or family.
21. Never yell at your young adults
There is virtually no reason to raise your voice at your child who already knows his right from wrong. Most times, shouting creates more problems than it would solve so why shout in the first place.
Shouting at your pre-teen might make him lose confidence and become vulnerable. Shouting is a sign of a hostile home and children from such homes are more likely to be self-doubting and diffident. While you teach your child emotional management, you should also act it.
When you’re at the verge of shouting, restrain yourself or leave the premise until you are calm. Don’t shout at your knowledgeable child when you can talk about situations and come to a consensus. You want a bold, happy and successful child, hear their pain points and let him know the reasons for your decisions.
22. Teach your child forgiveness
People that don’t forgive reduce their chances to be happy. Unforgiven obstructs true and genuine happiness apart from the fact that it alienates the person. Everyone deserves a second chance, without forgiveness, this is not possible.
Don’t hold grudges and don’t allow your child to hold grudges too. Always ensure to reconcile with those who have wrong you by making right the wrong done. Forgiving people are usually happy and have less chance of depression and anxiety.
23. Teach your children to have a positive mind
Success, happiness, and positivity go hand in hand. The fact is, a person that does not have a positive mind cannot be happy. Have a positive mind yourself and let your child see it in you.
Don’t complain or make a big deal of something minute. Instead, maintain a positive attitude and speak positive things. Show your child to see the silver lining of every dark cloud. This way they will be optimistic and focused on the positive sides of things.
24. Get good mentors for your child
As much as your child looks up to you, he still needs other hands to help him up. You cannot be all in all for him. To help him further, help him get a mentor. Trusted adults in a child’s life improve his chances of success. His mentor can be your good friend, his teacher or a trusted family member.
25. Accept Mistakes
Fortunately, your child is going to make many mistakes in their lifetime. Fortunately, this is the ethos you need in order to help your child grow.
What do you think is the healthiest means for your child to develop? The fact that they will never make a mistake and never have to make a plan B.
Or, would you prefer them to be open to mistakes and to learn from them? To grow, to become wiser and to have that memory as something that provides them value? While you’d be tempted to select the first option, you would ultimately be limiting their freedom by doing so.
Allowing your child to accept mistakes is important. Provided it comes with the caveat that they are always learned from, and never used as the final sentence in their story.
After all, they will never fail if they make a mistake, but they will fail if they give up. Taking the sting out of mistakes can be the healthiest possible lesson you teach them.
26. Encourage them to Keep Trying
Your child needn’t be the best guitarist, swimmer or cyclist.
They needn’t be the best at their part-time job. Yes, they needn’t learn to spell perfectly by the age of 10. They needn’t become Mr. Olympia at the IFBB competitions, or become a famous actor.
But they do need to try at whatever they find interesting and try their best. If you can always let them know this, then the unfair pressure is removed from their shoulders, and they feel incentivized, not burdened, to keep going and carry on the race.
This can only be healthy. It might also encourage you to invest in their hobbies and interests, such as checking out these top 15 new products from NAMM 2019 should they have musical interests.
27. Let them Follow Their Own Path
It’s one thing to walk in your footsteps and can be quite humbling to see them do so.
But they must never be forced to. They have their own legacy to build. When you give them permission to do so they feel naturally excited about the future. If they choose to follow in your footsteps, that could be great. If not, that’s great too. It all depends on your vantage point.
With these tips, you’re sure to raise a healthy child first, and a successful person second. Ironically, this increases their chances of success in all walks of life.
Let me remind you that you have a great influence on your child. I would have labelled the first point as “influence your kid” but I wouldn’t because influencing is not something you can do now and not do later. Even when you are not conscious of it, you are still influencing them.
From the acts of talking to the way you sleep to how you relate with people (that child inclusive), he learns from you. That is why some children will behave exactly like his parent.
Harold B. Lee said, “The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our homes.” As much as you work on your business and job, your family must not be neglected. Your child is your future, hence, follow the tips listed above to raise a successful and happy child.
Hope you found this interesting? Would love to hear from you soon.