25 Ways To Maintain Your Relationship With Good Friends

25 Ways To Maintain Your Relationship With Good Friends

“No man is an island” were the words my grandma used to tell me before she passed on. Friends and family relationships are the most important things in anybody’s life. I grew up in a very social home.

My parents were quite outspoken and open-minded. They taught and showed me the value of good friendship and family. I grew up with a heart that loved to draw people closer, I still do though.

It really doesn’t matter what your career is or how busy you are, your relationship with family and friends are as important. Better still, the attention you give to your friend or family shows how much you truly care about them.

In the end, if there are no friends to celebrate your successes with you, it will be a lonely experience.

However, there are ways you can balance family, friends, love relationships and career in a way that will not affect you or eat you up.

I will show you 15 tips you can put into practice to help you maintain a beneficial relationship with friends.

1. Do not borrow money if you cannot return it

A lot of good friendships have been ruined because of money.

It is not a bad idea to help your friends financially but you must do it with wisdom so that money will not destroy the friendship you have built for years.

If you need to borrow money, you can borrow from an agency or financial institution. Borrow only from close friends and make sure you return it.

Everyone has a burden they carry so do not buy into the game of ‘’forget about the money you lend me’’ Do not wait until you are reminded before you return the money you borrowed. Failure to pay back will lead to a loss of credibility and trust with your friends.

Also Read: 20 Ways To Get Over A Friendship Gone Bad.

2. Do not borrow items or properties that are not replaceable

Aside from borrowing money from friends, avoid borrowing things that are irreplaceable like cars, machines, etc.

Borrow only items that you can replace in case of any damage or loss. No friend will be happy to hear that his or her car got burnt while in your custody.

Ensure you repair and fix any damaged items before you return. This simple ethic will go a long way in sustaining your friendship.

Also, avoid borrowing items that are precious to your friends. It might be cheap but it means a lot to them.

3. Be empathetic

Empathy is putting yourself in your friends’ shoes and sharing their pain. Learn to feel your friends’ pain and understand their plight and feelings.

Invest in your friendship by showing that you care and are concerned about them. Learn to understand them whenever they share their worries.

When your friends are going through difficult times, be careful of the comments you pass and do not add to their pain.

Empathy also involves being available for them during these difficult times. Your presence will mean a lot to them.

It also fosters simple ways to be happy with your life and even happier with your friends around you. 

4. Be sincere

Sincerity and openness are great ways to maintain good friendships. Avoid pretending when you are with your friends.

Craftiness and unfaithfulness destroy friendship. Let your friends know exactly who you are, and what you like and dislike.

Friends who love you for who you are, are real friends.  Don’t live a double-standard life because you want to feel loved. Pretence destroys relationships because there would be no more trust once the truth is exposed.

However, be careful about whom you open up to. Do not expose your secrets to untrusted or untested friends. Also, when friends open up to you, accept and love them for who they are.

5. Do not exploit your friends

Never take advantage of your friends by exploiting them. Exploitation can destroy friendships immensely.

Do not be obsessed with the benefits you will get from your friends but with the values. When you are in need, ask politely and sincerely instead of using lies and deception.

Your friends might not know that you are exploiting them but once they find out, the friendship might hit a rock bottom.

Also Read : 8 Reasons Why Relationships Are Important In Business For Growth. 

6. Be grateful

Do not be so familiar with your friends that you overlook saying ‘thank you’ when you receive a favour from them.

Ungratefulness can destroy friendships. Being grateful will spur your friends to do more for you when you are in need and it reassures them that their contribution is valued.

Every act of kindness from your friends is not a right but a privilege. Gratitude also boosts self-esteem and deepens your friendship.

Do not only appreciate them for material things given to you, their presence in your life should also be appreciated.

Learn to treasure the little things, the phone dates, the irreplaceable moments and their undying support. You can send a quick text, have their favourite meal delivered, or give them a gift to show gratitude.

7. Call them regularly

This is very important especially if your friend is far away. Constant communication is the fuel that drives every friendship.

Technology has made this easy since the inception of mobile phones. Therefore, maximize this to your advantage, as there are interesting things that get better with age, this is definitely one of them.

Calling your friends regularly shows you care about them. Always make the call count by being expressive, instead of using a one-word answer.

Distractions can make your friends feel you are not interested in talking to them, so avoid them as much as possible when speaking with your friends on the phone.

8.Take responsibility during conflicts

Apportioning blame is a bad way to resolve conflicts. It not only escalates the matter but also makes your friends distance themselves from you.

Admit your fault and work towards restoring the relationship. Don’t blame your friends for what they do, rather accept the fact that you were both wrong.

Taking responsibility helps you to make a full-hearted apology. Instead of saying ‘I am sorry’ include what you are sorry for. For instance, I am sorry for hurting you.

9. Embrace your differences

We are all unique beings and no two individuals are the same.

It is normal to feel surprised when your friends take opposite sides on an issue, but you should learn to accept them for who they are and tolerate them.

Try to focus on the good and bright sides rather than the differences.

Differences in character may arise if one of you is going through a transition, accept this change and you will be surprised at how much you can learn from each other.

As much as you will love your friends to accept you for who you are, you must also accept your friends.

Also See: How To Concentrate On Studies When In Love: 7 Unique Tips.

10. Give compliments

Compliments are fast fading away in friendships because people feel they do not need to appreciate the good traits in their friends.

Show love to your friends by complimenting them on their good qualities and achievements. Complimenting is a good way to kill jealousy!

Be intentional about telling your friends how beautiful or handsome they are. Celebrate their wins with them; whether big or small and give pleasant compliments.

Let your compliments be genuine and not overhype.

11. Create Time For Hangouts

Adulthood can be a very trying phase. The transition from being totally dependent on your parents, to paying your bills, rent a house and have a career can sometimes be overwhelming.

In fact, it is very easy to lose sight of the more important things in life.

No matter how stressful or difficult your job is, if your friends can make out time to hang out with you, you too can make out time to hang out with them once in a while especially if you have the time.

Birthdays, weddings, house dedication, childbirth celebrations happen once in a while and your presence can truly gladden your friend’s heart. You can even go out of your way to save in small bits towards a gift for their special days. Piggyvest is the perfect platform for this.

I have this little philosophy of mine – any job that doesn’t give me time to enjoy the company of others and maintain a healthy relationship is not worth keeping. That is not a job; it is slavery.

12. Stop Feeling Entitled

In as much as you love our kindness to be reciprocated, you need to understand that the world does not start and end with you. Too much entitlement mentality will cause you to lose valuable friends.

If they tell you they have no money to give you and you know they earn eight figures a year, it is not your money and you did not work for it. Simply say ok and move on.

Stop thinking that they have the money but will never give you because they don’t like you. Everyone has needs and you need to understand that.

Find several options when you need help from people so that when one option does not work, you will not feel bitter but quickly move on to the next option. They might still be able to help you in the future.

Besides, you need to be financially prudent.

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13. Check Up On Close Friends

There are two types of calls that can brighten up my day no matter how stressful it is. A call from my lovely mother or a call from a close friend.

I love those out of the blues’ check-up. It makes my day and strengthens my bond with whoever it is.

No matter how close you were in high school or college, familiarity will begin to fade when you no longer know a single thing happening in your friend’s life.

It doesn’t have to be your friend’s birthday before you celebrate them or remind them of the fun times you had by sending them old pictures.

Tease them about a high school crush and share old jokes. Chats and social media connections have made it easier to keep in touch.

14. Be reliable

There is a common misconception that when you are experiencing pain or discomfort, you should keep quiet and fight it by yourself to show strength. 

Apparently, this is a very wrong concept, in fact, it is the reason why we have a lot of depressed people walking on the streets these days.

However, you can let friends know that they don’t have to bottle up everything. A reliable friend isn’t judgmental and will not hesitate to tell you the truth with love.

I want you to be that friend today. Be a shoulder to cry on even when you don’t have the perfect words to say or anything more to offer.

Showing concern in turbulent times will really go a long way. Remember you will also need someone someday.

15. Learn To Keep Secrets

When someone confides in you and you let out the person’s secrets, you have not only let the person down, but you have also let your integrity down.

Do not be a blabbermouth, learn to keep secrets. You cannot maintain a relationship by blabbing private information around the neighbourhood.

Imagine the level of confidence a friend must have had in you to tell you a secret.

You can also imagine the level of disappointment the person would feel if he/she finds out that the information made for your ears also ended up in another’s.

16. Be Open To Criticism

You should always strive to be a better version of yourself and that includes accepting that you are not perfect, nobody is.

If you only keep friendships where your friends are scared to tell you the truth because of your reactions, then you will not learn.

When you don’t learn, you will keep having bad habits or a toxic way of life.

Give and receive constructive criticism, unlearn and relearn, be open-minded and try to work on yourself from filtered pieces of advice.

17. Get To Know Them Personally

Strong relationships are built on the foundation of familiarity. Get to know what is happening in your friends’ lives, however, go by what they want you to know, do not force it.

As time goes on and the closer you get to each other, more truths will be shared by both of you.

Remember it is a two-sided thing. If your friend is not interested in what you share, then just accept them the way they are until they come to realize you’re a genuine friend.

Most long-lasting relationships start by being comfortable to share anything with each other.

This way, you can impart knowledge, share experiences and be comforted by each other in dire moments.

18. Respect Boundaries

Boundaries are very important as they will help you to take caution and not step on other people’s toes.

If you do not accept boundaries in your relationships, unintended insults and broken friendships are bound to happen.

I heard a story about a guy whose friend was his roommate.

They became so close that it was normal for him to lend this friend his clothes occasionally. However, one day he wasn’t around, and his roommate took a trouser of his without his permission and tailored it to his size.

You can imagine how furious the dress owner was when he returned. This could bring a stop to every other favour he enjoyed from the relationship.

I believe if his roommate knew when to draw the line and ask for permission, that incident wouldn’t have occurred.

You should be smart enough to figure out when you are beginning to take friendships for granted.

It is good that you examine yourself, politely as for permission and know when to give some space.

19. Give Them Their Space

I don’t think I will get that excitement that I feel whenever my friends hit me up if they hit me up all the time.

In as much as you have to maintain friendships by keeping tabs, you should also understand that people have busy lives and their own schedules.

Know when to give your friends space especially during busy hours. You could text them ahead to know what time is ok for you to call or check on them. Don’t just barge into your friend’s schedule uninvited.

Being able to predict your friend’s needs and any point in time is what makes you a great friend. Great friendships are friendships that still feel the same even after months of cricket silence.

20. Forgive and Never Bring It Up Again

Forgiving after a misunderstanding or major disagreement is wonderful! However, it sweeter when you decide not to bring it up again.

I decided to use the word “never bring it up again” because sometimes it might take a while for people to change.

So, while they change, give them the benefit of the doubt, and do not assume it is a deliberate repetition.

If it is something that keeps hurting you, you could give have a space for the sake of your mental health.

This literally means that you should not embarrass your friends for mistakes they made and apologized for.

Resist the temptation to remember even when you are angry. Just take a break if you can no longer cope.

21. Support Your Friends

If your friend is an upcoming musician and he gives you a free ticket to their show, make time and go for that show and let him know you came even if it’s for a few minutes.

If he needs your vote or experience to bring his dreams to pass, give him the support.

It shows that you are supportive and, trust me, he or she will really appreciate it. Such people are likely to reciprocate this support when you need it.

However, if you cannot make it and you have a pretty good excuse, just call ahead, and apologize for your unavailability.

22. Mind What You Say When Angry

It is true that we do not mean 50% of what we say during arguments. Yes, I understand that you might be angry and tempted to say hurtful words but read this story carefully.

A man once told his hot-tempered son that for every day he says something hurtful during arguments, he would have to hit a nail into a concrete wall.

The boy hit so many nails that he finally started controlling his temper.

After noticing the change, the man now told his son that for every day he goes without saying something hurtful, he would have to pull out those nails from the wall. The boy noticed that a once smooth wall now had all these holes in them from his lack of self-control.

This is basically what happens when you say hurtful things to people, you might apologize, but things might never go back to the way they were. For that reason, you should learn to control your temper.

Instead of saying hurtful things, leave that environment fast or read something you believe so much in. Some quotes that help to curb anger might help.

23. Respect your friends

Do not build walls; instead, build bridges. These are words that have carried me to where I am today. I realized that things that you thought were big deals 10 years ago might not really matter to you now.

It has helped me to make significant and careful decisions when maintaining relationships.

Don’t be a parasite to your friends. Do not keep friendships to exploit others unnecessarily. I am a huge fan of drawing people closer rather than pushing them away.

However, If I notice you’re all about making me feel less, lying, enforcing your opinions or trying to boss me here and there, I will deliberately give myself some respect by avoiding you.

If you respect yourself enough, other people will be forced to accord you the same respect. I always say the truth even to my friends. Sometimes, this truth might be bitter, but it is not enforced.

Once demanded, I always speak the truth and stand on my words. However, I respect myself enough to not give unsolicited advice and opinions.

24. Be A Positive Influence

Be a positive influence in the lives of your friends. That’s what friends are for. Seek to push them further, tell them the truth when they seek your opinion, encourage them and be there when they need you.

Nobody forgets a good friend that is supportive. No matter how brief you have been friends, or how long you haven’t spoken, once they remember the positive impact you’ve had on them, they will not forget you in a hurry.

25. Develop Yourself

Develop yourself alongside your peers. Strive to develop and invest in yourself so that you won’t be a burden. You shouldn’t be so dependent on people to the extent that you will lose your value.

Good friendships last when two people grow together. Yes, a friendship can work when one is bigger/more privileged/more experienced than the other.

However, if the relationship is built on constant dependency, it might be difficult to maintain it.

If your peers are heading off to college, try to join them. Grow with your peers so that you can have relevant conversations.

You don’t want to be a gas station attendant in your small town, while your best friend is a lawyer in a reputable firm in the city. He is more likely to stay out of touch because your exposures are beginning to differ a lot.

The bond is stronger if you can both relate on a familiar topic.

Conclusion

I know I said you should try to grow with your peers, I also understand that life isn’t so easy and everybody is fighting their own problems. Therefore, I want to encourage you that time, hard work and commitment always have a reward.

If you cannot meet up with your friend’s lifestyle, don’t lie or try to over-do yourself.

Good friends will try to bring you up without making you feel insecure about yourself or killing your self-esteem.

Maintaining a good friendship is very important in every life. It is people that raise other people up. It was my father’s best friend that connected him to the job that trained I and my siblings.

Hold on to people that contribute positively to your life; this type of loyal people are scarce these days.

Good people, most especially good friends, make the world go round.